This is What We're Supposed to be Doing?

While I was planning on playing catch up with more Christmas and New Year's posts, tonight's family scripture reading and prayer struck me as something I want to remember just as much as the special events in our family so here I documented the following scene with names withheld to protect the not-so-innocent. Someday we might look back and laugh (although this is not unlike most nights):
Me: Time to read scriptures! (Finds all children without pajamas on even though I asked them to put them on 30 minutes ago).

Me: Go put your pj's on! (One child goes and comes back, other child takes FOREVER).

Me: Hurry up! (Both children return without their scriptures)

Me: Go get your scriptures....
(Meanwhile other child has completely adhered to one side of me on the couch and wants to pretty much sit on my lap even though they are taller than me and plenty of other seating is available. Another child sits sullking under a blanket).

Me: What's wrong?

Child: You and dad are mean to me.
(Discussion ensues addressing being mean versus being a parent and that asking someone to do something "x" times is not being mean. Child reluctantly crawls out from under blanket and decides to join in).

Me: Okay, you start (to another child).
That child starts reading in the best pouty-grumpy-emotional voice I've ever heard. Teenagers start snorting with laughter which sends other child into absolute tears and stomping off.

Me to crying child: Brush your teeth and get into bed. (Child stomps into bathroom and tries to make as much noise as possible while brushing her teeth by kicking the tub and slamming the faucet when she turns it on and off. Another child goes to peek in on her--while I've tried to start and stop reading about five times by now--and comes back in with more bursts of laughter. This sends other child into bed crying and moaning like her dearest pet just died.)

Me: "And it came to pass..."

Another child: Mom, we learned something in seminary today. What was it like when you had your miscarriage?

Me: What does that have to do with what we're reading?
(Several questions commence about what happened when I miscarried. Eventually we get back on task. Meanwhile, crying child gets louder and is probably going to wake up other child alredy put to bed).
Other two children take turns reading and have to bump me when its my turn because I am worried about the crying child and I forget where we are, which makes them start a whole new round of snorting and laughter...

Me: Okay! We're done! (somehow we actually got through a whole chapter).

(Dad is noticably absent because he is taking care of something at the school. Had he been here this nonsense would have ended much sooner and probably with a few more crying children)

I have often wondered why this is STILL such a difficult task after 17 years of regular attempts of family prayer and scriptures. Will the kids remember this? Are they getting anything out of it? I know the answer but I still shake my head in wonder when we have nights like this. I would love to have an expert come and evaluate us, kind of like a "scripture and prayer whisperer" to tell us what we could do to help our situation, except without putting us on TV :) I love our crazy family and some of the nonsense that comes with the package; I just hope there's a little bit of credit in heaven for trying.